Inner Chatter

There is a touch of impatience. On the screen reindeer herders pack and pitch their tent in a move of 32 minutes.

During the movie I get up about 5 times. To stir the apple sauce on the stove. To grab dessert. And another one. Stark contrast to the teamwork of three herding families. It takes about 20 minutes to pitch and furnish the home of two of those families. Nenet families. 

Google explains they are a Samoyedic ethnic group native to northern arctic Russia. Not quite concrete enough. First. North means well north of the Arctic Circle. Secondly. The name. It derives from the obsolete term Samoyed used for some indigenous people of Siberia. We’re getting closer. A relatively small red coloured area in the extreme vastness of Russia, indicates the Nenets Autonomous District. I get it. 

Countless thoughts are formed in my head. I pause. I make myself write them down. Putting words to the inner gyre. 

The activities men traditionally do. Those are the ones that appeal to me. They ignite an inner fire. They have a coolness factor. They are what I want to be associated with. It is not about not recognising the vitality of the work of the women. It just doesn’t spark anything within.

My mind trots off to gender identity. I identify as woman. 100%. It’s an immediate reaction. Crystal clear. But then again. What defines a woman? Why does it seem something that is boxed. That is has to be this or that. Adding yet another box doesn’t make the aversion dissolve. Boxes make me want to break out. To rebel. Not because I agree. Not because I disagree. Just for the mere reason that it is a box. 

I press play again. Instantly my mind takes me down another path. When I see, hear or read something about outdoors, nature, wilderness, expeditions. About experiencing any of it. I feel a rush of energy running right through me. Is it about wanting to draw attention to the importance of conservation by sharing experiences I would love to gather?

That’s when other voices kicks in. The voices start quarrelling. I wonder. Why is it that no idea ever was big enough to stick? To materialise. Is it too easy to say that the right idea just hasn’t yet been loud enough? Maybe the mere act of writing down some of that inner chatter will eventually provide a framework.

One of the aspects all great adventurers have in common is persistence. Out on a quest I’m the personification of perseverance. Let’s start practising the process when the end game has not yet been defined. Let’s start practising more patience. Maybe it is what will define my longterm quest. 

The movie was brought to me in the weekly newsletter of The Salt Network. I can strongly recommend this well curated dose of weekly inspiration and promise you’ll start checking your email on Saturday morning.